Partner doesn’t share my spiritual path and views

Dear Lori and Jeff,

My partner and I have recently begun talking more seriously about marriage. He possesses many of the qualities I believe are important in a spouse; he’s genuinely kind, trustworthy, responsible and reliable, and we share many interests. We also have great chemistry and laugh often. However, I find myself deeply unfulfilled in the relationship when it comes to exploring spirituality. Yoga, meditation, and eastern-based health and wellness are integral to my lifestyle. I’d always imagined marrying someone I could practice with and who would help me continue to grow and expand in this realm. My partner is incredibly analytical and skeptical about much of what I believe in. He always supports me in doing what I want, but also politely chooses not to engage with me. Is this a dealbreaker?

Signed, Spiritually Unsatisfied

What to do when fiancé's parents are insisting on a prenup

Dear Lori and Jeff,

My boyfriend and I are recently engaged. We’ve never really discussed finances and have kept most everything related to money separate. We split the cost of living expenses, even when we go out for dinner. After the engagement, he told me that his parents are insisting that I sign a prenup as apparently they have a lot of wealth and, unknown to me, so does he. He insists that he trusts me enough to marry me without a prenup and that it’s all his parents’ doing. I’m a bit overwhelmed by the whole thing. It’s not that I’m against signing one, I’m just not sure what it means and how it will impact our relationship.

Signed, Prenup Apprehension

How do I know if she is the one?

Dear Lori and Jeff,

My girlfriend of 3 years is dropping some not-so-subtle hints that she’s ready to get engaged. She’s great and I love her, but I’m not ready to make that commitment to her yet. I’m not totally sure why. I’m in my mid 30’s and it’s not that I don’t want to settle down, in reality I feel like I’ve already done that with her in this relationship. I’m just not sure how I’m supposed to know if she’s the one I’m meant to be with for the rest of my life. I’m attracted to her, and we have a lot in common, but not everything. I feel like I should just know if she’s the one, and I don’t. What do I do?

Signed, Is She The One?

Nuptials on pause for pandemic? Take the time to ask hard questions

Dear Lori and Jeff,

My fiancé and I had decided to get married this summer but because of the pandemic, we’ve been forced to postpone the wedding. The process of rescheduling has been frustrating but manageable. However, now with the delay, my fiancé has gotten cold feet. He said maybe this was a sign that we weren’t “supposed” to get married. It seems like he’s just looking for a way out. What should I do?

Signed, COVID’s Ruining My Wedding

Is conflict with fiancé's kids a dealbreaker?

Dear Lori and Jeff,

I’ve recently gotten engaged to the love of my life and can’t wait to officially begin a new life with him. There is one issue that’s giving me cold feet—the two boys from his previous marriage. I’ve tried so hard to have them accept me, not as a replacement for their mother, but as someone who’s important to their dad. No matter what I do, they are rude and sarcastic to me and make me feel like I have no business being part of their family. I am kind, supportive, forgiving and understanding but I get none of that in return. My fiancée understands what I’m going through but is reluctant to step in and defend me when it’s obvious they’ve crossed the line. Is this a big enough reason to put off the wedding or should I keep trying to integrate into their lives?

Signed, Cold Feet

Are We Ready For Marriage?

Dear Lori and Jeff,

My fiance and I are getting married in October and have been struggling over some basic relationship issues in the past few months. Things like money and household responsibilities that have been workable in the past have become sticking points between us as we get closer to tying the knot. I'm feeling more stressed and increasingly worried about going through with the marriage, but she keeps reassuring me it will be better once the wedding is over. How do I know if this is just pre-wedding jitters or a bigger problem?

Signed, Getting Cold Feet

She Said, He Said: A Relationship advice blog written by Married, Marriage Therapists

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