Posts tagged marriage counseling
She Said, He Said: Can a Donkey and an Elephant stay in love?

Dear Lori and Jeff,

We need some advice and tools for learning how to coexist peacefully with diverging political views. We've been married for 27 years, and love each other very much. When we met neither of us was politically inclined, though one of us leaned more conservative and the other more liberal. Over the past few years we've both been paying more attention to what's going on nationally, and our opinions have grown stronger in opposing directions. Sometimes it feels like we don't even know who the other is. How do we keep our marriage strong when it seems our values have become so different?

Signed, Red and Blue

Read More
She Said, He Said: My wife retired and now I don't see her

Dear Jeff and Lori,

My wife retired three months ago. She had a fulfilling career, but felt it had run its course and was ready to begin enjoying life more. Financially, we're in good shape, but I can't stop working for a few more years. I've noticed myself becoming more frustrated and irritated with my wife recently. It seems like all she does is hang out with friends, play tennis and shop, and she doesn't even seem all that happy. I thought after she retired she would want to spend more time with me, and would take up more responsibilities around the house. Now, I'm supporting both of us and she's not really showing up in the marriage. Am I expecting too much?

Signed, Missing My Wife

Read More
She Said, He Said: Struggling to be a husband and Pro Athlete

Dear Lori and Jeff,

I am a professional athlete somewhere in the middle of the life of my career. I've hit a bit of plateau and think that some of the struggle to raise my game has to do with my marriage. When my wife and I met, I tried to make it clear that my career as an athlete was extremely demanding of my time, energy and attention. She seemed to understand and jumped in with both feet in a support role, as my salary was just enough so that she didn't have to work full-time. For the first few years everything seemed to go well. But now we have two kids and I don't feel the same kind of support from my wife as I once did. I even sense some resentment coming from her when I'm away for longer periods of time at training camps and events. How do I keep both my marriage and career a success?

Signed, Not in the Zone

Read More
She Said, He Said: Avoiding the "Backslide"

Dear Lori and Jeff,

My boyfriend broke up with me a few months ago after a two-year relationship. We seem to run into each other fairly often as we share the same core group of friends. The problem is that on several occasions, we've ended up going home together, only to regret the decision in the morning. We've both promised not to let it happen again, but it does. How do we stop this cycle and move on?

Signed, Backslider

Read More
She Said, He Said: Should I be concerned about his marijuana use?

Dear Jeff and Lori,

My husband and I met in college and have been together for 13 years. When we started dating we were both proud dirtbaggers, spending as much time as possible climbing and biking, and smoking our share of pot. Over the last half of our relationship, I've mostly left it behind, and really love the life we're building together. We still get outside at every opportunity, I have a great job, we have a nice home, and I'm ready to have kids. I'm worried because my husband still smokes pot almost everyday. He also has a good job, and says smoking is how he likes to unwind. He tells me he's not addicted, but also won't go more than a day or two without it, even though I've asked him to. I've noticed since I've cut back, how checked out he really is when he's high, and worry what it will be like when we have kids if he keeps smoking this much. Should I be concerned about his use?

Signed, Pothead's Partner

Read More
She Said, He Said: How Do I Get Him To Open Up?

Dear Lori and Jeff,

Since we've been together, my partner has become increasingly shut down. I'd really like him to be more open, and recently approached him about it. He said he's tried to share his feelings with me in the past, and I've judged him. I don't ever remember doing that, but there have been a few times where I thought he was just making excuses for not doing what he said he would do. I would never want to judge his real feelings. How can I support him in opening up again?

Signed, Feeling Shut Out

Read More