Posts tagged MIL-DIL relationship
Husband won't set boundaries with his mom

Dear Jeff and Lori:

My husband has always had a very close relationship with his mother. When his father passed away last year, he strongly advocated for his mom to move near us with the expectation that she would help with our two elementary school aged children. After she settled in I noticed just how much medication she takes on a daily basis for pain, anxiety and sleep. She also has no reservations about having a glass of wine or two with dinner, and sometimes lunch. I told my husband I don’t want her in charge of the kids, as she doesn’t always seem fully present. He continues to minimize her use, saying it’s all physician prescribed and highlighting how difficult the loss of her husband has been. I think he’s afraid of hurting her. We’re arguing constantly and in the meantime, I keep creating plans and excuses to keep the kids from being in her care. I can’t keep going on like this. Please help.

Signed, Distressed Daughter-In-Law

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Manage the stress of visiting in-laws during the holiday

Dear Lori and Jeff,

Thanksgiving is coming up soon and I’m feeling really stressed. I’ve recently gotten engaged, and can’t wait to get married. But I am at my wits’ end with trying to figure out how to have a positive relationship with my future mother-in-law. She constantly compares me to my fiancé’s ex-wife, whom she adores, and still has a relationship with. It seems every time I’m in the same room as her she makes backhanded comments to and about me. He reassures me how much he loves me and that his mom just needs time to get to know me, but the more I’m around her, the less I want a relationship with her. He has a really close family, and it’s important to him that I make an effort. Help!

Signed, Future MIL Hates Me

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