I think my husband needs to talk to someone

Dear Jeff and Lori,

My husband has been through several stressors in the last year and as a result has become irritable and mildly depressed. While our marriage is still relatively positive, he complains to me about something in the world almost every day. I was happy to support him in the beginning, but I’m feeling emotionally worn out. I believe he may be going through an identity or mid-life crisis. When I try to make suggestions about what might help him feel better, he won’t listen to me. How can I get him to see a therapist who might be able to get through to him?

Signed, Married to Moody Man

When is it time to get help for marriage?

Dear Lori and Jeff,

Our marriage is pretty good but we have one or two issues that keep coming up and we can’t seem to get past them. My husband insists we can figure it out on our own but I think we need to get help from a professional. When is it time to get outside support?

Signed, On The Fence

Wife wants me to do counseling on own before couples work

Dear Lori and Jeff,

My wife has been seeing a therapist for the past six months, working on some issues around the death of her mother and the resulting care of her father who suffers from dementia. She says she has learned a lot about herself and now realizes how unhappy she is with our marriage. She says she is willing to do couples counseling but not until I do my own counseling to resolve some of my own issues. I don’t want to lose the marriage and am willing to look at my baggage but it feels like she is setting a requirement for me that I’m not sure I know how to meet. Even if I do start my own counseling, how will she know when I’m “ready” to begin working on our marriage?

Signed, Told to Fly Solo

She Said, He Said: A Relationship advice blog written by Married, Marriage Therapists

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