Posts in Attachment
Understanding Attachment
Understanding Attachment

Dear Lori and Jeff,

My long term partner and I recently took an online quiz to begin assessing our attachment patterns. We’ve read numerous articles and have listened to podcasts about attachment styles and were hoping that knowing our patterns would help improve our relationship. I lean more anxious and he’s higher on avoidant. It feels in some ways we’ve become more frustrated with each other and ourselves because, even though we’ve identified this, we don’t know what to do with it. We keep having the same conflict patterns and maybe were overly optimistic that knowing about our attachment styles would have resolved some of our issues. What can we do to actually create some change?

Signed, Attachment Newbie

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AttachmentLori KretAspen Relationship Instituteattachment styles, protective patterns
Tools to create a better marriage in 2023
Tools to create a better marriage in 2023

Dear Readers,

The new year begins a surge of energy for fresh beginnings, redefining oneself, and closing chapters that no longer serve us. And in this light, it may not be surprising that for the last several years, January has been dubbed divorce month. Some couples considering ending their relationship choose to push through one last holiday season “for the family.” Others decide they just can’t go through one more year of being unhappy with their partners. 

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Attachment, ConnectionLori KretAspen Relationship Institutemarriage counseling, couples counseling, Improve marriage, new year relationship resolution, fix marriage, better communication in marriage, love languages, more intimacy in marriage, anxious attachment style, attachment stylesComment
Are you an ‘anxious attacher’ in your relationship? Here's how you can tell.
Are you an ‘anxious attacher’ in your relationship? Here's how you can tell.

Dear Lori and Jeff,

About a year ago, I was set up with the perfect guy—he was attractive, successful and kind. We  immediately had a strong connection. Then, after a few passionate months, I started worrying the spark was fading. He said he was falling for me, and couldn’t understand where I was coming from when I told him my concerns. I kept trying to find ways to bring the energy back, but he said it felt like I was trying to pick fights with him. I was wanting reassurance that he cared as much as I did, but instead he broke up with me. My friends say I have a pattern of sabotaging relationships with great guys. I think they may be right. What am I doing wrong?

Signed, Single and Confused.

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Codependence, AttachmentLori Kretaspen relationship instituteAnxious attacher, relationship attachment styles, anxious attachment style, Am I an anxious attacher, how to become more secureComment