Dear Lori and Jeff,
I had an affair five years ago during a very turbulent time in my marriage. Through my own work, I have come to understand my insecurities and protective patterns that lead me to transgress. I have owned my mistake, and in my mind have paid my penance. I’ve continuously made efforts to prioritize my husband and put his needs first to prove my commitment, but he refuses to forgive me and move on. We have kids and manage day to day life well together and our connection feels positive when we’re following his lead, whether that’s accommodating his schedule or vacationing to the destination he chooses. But it feels like every time I try to assert my needs and wants, he reminds me of how much he has had to suffer because of my affair. What do I have to do to be on even ground again?
Signed, Stuck In Purgatory
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