Needing Space

Dear Lori and Jeff,

My partner and I are both in our 50’s and divorced. Six months ago she was unable to renew her lease and moved in with me. Since this change, I’ve begun feeling more claustrophobic and more easily irritated with her. She works from home and is always around. I used to look forward to seeing her, but now I’m excited every time she runs errands and I get a few moments to myself. I love her, but am starting to wonder if I need a partner who is more independent or has more going on in their own life.

Sincerely, Feeling Cramped

BoundariesLori KretDecember 29, 2023Aspen Relationship Institutecodependent relationship patterns, individuality, interdependence

How to know if a relationship is moving too fast

Dear Jeff and Lori,

I'm struggling with letting my guard down in my current relationship. We were both recently separated from our spouses when we met, and he moved in with me very quickly during the first COVID lockdown. Both of our marriages were unhealthy, and I moved quickly to file for divorce. My partner, however, has a son who has been very open about his disapproval of his dad’s choice to leave the marriage. My partner says he is fully committed to me and has proposed, but is afraid that filing for divorce now will sever his relationship with his son. I also know that he’s in regular contact with his wife, and that she still wants to make the marriage work. I feel so insecure right now and keep asking him to finalize his divorce. Am I wrong to feel this way?

Signed, Insecurely In Love