My wife won’t forgive me

Dear Jeff and Lori,

My wife and I have been together for 16 years and the last few have been difficult. A year ago I had an emotional affair with a coworker that consisted of flirting in person and by text but went no further. It ended when she moved away and the distance gave me better perspective to know I was crossing a line. My wife found out shortly after and still has not forgiven me. For 8 months I’ve been on the receiving end of periods of silent treatment punctuated with anger and blame. Every once in a while she’ll acknowledge that leading up to my transgressions we were in a difficult place but insists that my betrayal was so far from warranted that she can’t understand how I could do this to her. We’re stuck, can you please give us some ideas of how to move forward.

Signed, Sentenced For Life

Friendship Or Emotional Affair?

Dear Jeff and Lori,

Everyone who meets my wife loves her immediately. She has always been a little more social than me and is continuously making new friends. I’ve learned to be comfortable with all of her connections, knowing that I need to support her in being herself. However, I recently saw text messages on her phone from a guy that to me crossed a line. They have been communicating frequently, he calls her beautiful, and alludes to conversations about things she has been struggling with that I’m not even sure I fully know about. When I confronted her, she assured me they were just friends and that he knows she is happily married. She said he’s a very kind person who works at a non-profit where she volunteers and that I’m simply reading the situation wrong. I don’t believe she has done anything physical with him, but their interactions feel inappropriate. It’s making me not trust her even more that she won’t acknowledge how I feel. How can I get her to see that?

Signed, Vexed By Texts

Social media pulling wife from real life, family

Dear Lori and Jeff,
My wife spends a lot of time on social media, Instagram in particular. She says it keeps her connected with her friends but I feel like it’s starting to become more of an addiction or obsession that’s taking the place of face-to-face interactions with me and our kids. I don’t want her to give it up completely but how do I get her to put the phone down and be more present with the family?

Signed, Losing To Her iPhone

She Said, He Said: A Relationship advice blog written by Married, Marriage Therapists

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