Dear Jeff and Lori,

Everyone who meets my wife loves her immediately. She has always been a little more social than me and is continuously making new friends. I’ve learned to be comfortable with all of her connections, knowing that I need to support her in being herself. However, I recently saw text messages on her phone from a guy that to me crossed a line. They have been communicating frequently, he calls her beautiful, and alludes to conversations about things she has been struggling with that I’m not even sure I fully know about. When I confronted her, she assured me they were just friends and that he knows she is happily married. She said he’s a very kind person who works at a non-profit where she volunteers and that I’m simply reading the situation wrong. I don’t believe she has done anything physical with him, but their interactions feel inappropriate. It’s making me not trust her even more that she won’t acknowledge how I feel. How can I get her to see that?

Signed, Vexed By Texts

InfidelityLori KretJanuary 27, 2024Aspen Relationship Instituteemotional affairs, social media and relationships

Hurt by wife’s emotional affair

Dear Lori and Jeff,

Recently I found out that my wife has been having an emotional affair. She had been going through some tough times with the passing of her mom. I’ll admit that I wasn’t really available to support her through it as I travel a lot for my job. She has plenty of girlfriends to rely on so I never thought she’d get emotionally attached to another man. I know I need to work on showing up for her more but I’m angry that she didn’t tell me how bad it was getting for her. If she had said she was this unhappy, I would have figured out how to create more time for her. Now I don’t know how we get back from here. We both want our marriage to work but she’s resentful and I’m having a hard time trusting her. She said she has broken off communication with the other guy, but short of constantly checking her phone, I’m not sure how I can believe her.

Sincerely, Trust Busted